Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
