He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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