dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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