He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
