break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
