I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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