i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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