How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
