i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
