great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
