don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
