I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
