Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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