If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
