We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize