2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
