please come you make the beer taste better
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
