They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
