great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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