The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Apparently you make a good broom.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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