I need help removing her.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
