Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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