I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
