well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
