i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
