Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(347): View more from New York

We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?

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(360): View more from Washington

My throat is burning

(1-360): View more from Washington

Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass

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