do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just pee around me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
