like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
