Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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