I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
