I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
