I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize