Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
