1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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