Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
