he thought i was a dude.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
