my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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