New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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