I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wrigley field is MILF paradise
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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