Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
