Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize