belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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