WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize