I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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