just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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