so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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