So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I would fuck him just for his dog
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