did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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