piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
