I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
