What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize