Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
