playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
