He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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