Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
