Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
