they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
