he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's the barista slut.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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