the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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