He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
