Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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