A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
