wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
