You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
