I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
3pm strippers are depressing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
