I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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